Marriage & Motherhood:
Turn Miniature Moments into a Big Mission
You go to church and hear them talk about an upcoming mission trip in the announcements. How amazing it would be to go overseas and make a difference like that. You go home and prepare dinner, clean up that mess your toddler made, change a diaper, kiss a bo-bo, pack your husband's lunch, and you think, "Mission trip? Make a difference? Ministry? Who and I kidding? These people at home couldn't survive for one day without me."
Sometimes we classify ministry in a separate category than marriage and motherhood. I think we may have it wrong. What if our humdrum daily grind is actually our heavenly duty? What if our clichés are our calling? What if marriage and motherhood IS one of our mission fields?
Will you allow me to be transparent for a minute?
I do not have it all together. I am still a work in progress just like you.
Here's a little proof. Sometimes I journal because I like to write my way into giving thanks.
Saturday:
"After several times today of using Camilla's behavior as a teachable moment, she does something else to push her limit. I take a deep breath and ask God for help. I ask Him if any of my efforts are making a difference. Almost immediately after this question Camilla looks me in the eyes and says, 'Mommy, you're doing a good job.' What grace this is that God would use my two-year-old as His mouthpiece. For a brief moment I cannot move beyond the thought that she followed His prompting and spoke directly to my heart. Goodness the rewards of motherhood are so sweet. Marcus has been super busy this week. Meetings, budgets, even ministry. I get it. But I'm still wearing a lot of hats. Just when I think I have room to let a little bit of disappointment creep in, he comes home on his only break and speaks my love language. He sees me cleaning and asks if he can help. I am reminded once again of how much undeserved grace I've been given."
Tuesday:
"Hosting my first moms connect group in my home tomorrow. I am more certain now than ever that I am supposed to do this. The very thing we are studying... I am faced with today. Lettie & Camilla are having some humorous struggles that need my attention. Will I have time to prepare? Thoughts of doubt flood my mind. Then Camilla does my heart a favor. She brings her Bible downstairs and says, 'Mommy, can I sit in your lap? Can you please read me a Bible story?" OF COURSE YOU CAN. OF COURSE I WILL. I love to press pause for these moments. I remember what I read in the book we are studying for our group (Nothing to Prove by Jennie Allen), 'Ruth cared for her mother-in-law, gathered food, and found a good man. Then she raised her children and happened to be raising the ancestors of Jesus Christ.' Wow. This is my time. This is my place. This is my job. This is what I love. I want to honor the Lord in my ordinary moments. I want my faithful ordinary moments to equip my children. I want my children to be His tools to change the world."
We can turn our miniature moments into a big mission. I'd like to invite you to join me in this. What does that look like? How can marriage and motherhood be ministry?
1. Accept grace. Enough for yourself and enough to give to your husband and children. Don't overlook it. It's offered to you around every corner. “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness...." (2 Corinthians 12:9)
2. Imitate Jesus. Take deep a deep breath and maybe even say a quick prayer before you respond. Let's be "slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love" (Psalm 103).
3. Be a cheerleader and not a critic. Find the good. Talk about the good. Encourage the good. Set the example for good. Use moments of discipline to discuss with your children what behavior is pleasing to Jesus. Don't focus so much what your husband doesn't do that you let what he does do go un-thanked. Sure, he may not understand the pressures of your reality. But I am sure you do not fully comprehend the pressures of his either. “Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.” (Ephesians 4:29)
4. Protect your home. Don't tell people how terrible your children are. Don't shame your husband or speak negatively about your marriage. Quit complaining. Get off Facebook and pray for wisdom in your situation. “Those who bring trouble on their families inherit the wind..." (Proverbs 11:29) “A wise woman builds her home, but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands.” (Proverbs 14:1) “A virtuous and excellent wife is the crown of her husband, But she who shames him is like rottenness in his bones.” (Proverbs 12:4)
5. Enjoy your gifts. Be present. Love them deeply and wildly. Flirt with your husband. Find his love language (words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time, gifts, touch) and speak it. Date him. Build tall building block castles and play hide-and-go-seek with your kids. Get off your phones and make memories. When you're busy and they want to help you, find unique ways for them to help! Tell them how much God loves them. “Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.” (Ephesians 4:2) “Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22:6)
Chelsea Briggs
